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Thoreson urges friends to go extra mile for those in trouble Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Agri News staff writer
DUBUQUE, Iowa -- During these financially stressful times, Dale Thoreson, Iowa State University Extension dairy, beef and forage specialist, urges families and neighbors to watch out for each other. If someone is facing difficulties, help them find help.
Thoreson shared this personal experience at last week's managing in tough times meeting .
Eight years ago, his best friend committed suicide. He was a hog farmer and times weren't good.
"Many times I thought, 'Did he hint to me what he was thinking about?' " Thoreson said. "He did, and I did not pick up on it. That's really haunted me. During these times when people are in trouble, we've got to listen to those around us."
Thoreson said nothing was as devastating as getting that call that his friend had died. He didn't know what happened until he walked in the house and learned what happened.
From then on, Thoreson said, he listens to what people say. Several years ago, his mother died, and he and his nine siblings were sitting in a cafe trying to resolve conflicts.
"All this stuff came out, there was yelling, and one of my younger brothers left saying he was going to shoot himself," Thoreson said. "I ran, I ran after him. He wasn't serious, but I didn't know that. People are dealing with some very, very, very stressful things and it's really hard on them. Listen carefully. You could be that little voice that gets them some help."
Thoreson once received a 5-page handwritten letter from a dairy farmer who was found in the milk house, sitting on a pail, "ducking bullets from Vietnam."
"He was so close to suicide, and we were able to get him some help," Thoreson said. "He later wrote to me and said that there is life after farming."
Keep your eyes and ears open, Thoreson said.
"You may prevent someone from doing something that absolutely will do no good for anybody and that will be worth all your time," he said.
Larry Tranell, ISU Extension dairy field specialist, talked about what to tell children during these tough financial times. Parents should clearly state their confidence in the family's ability to survive the crisis and help their children understand that what's going on isn't their fault.
"Listen to your children," Tranel said. "And remember what they tell you in airplanes, that you have to put the oxygen mask on before you can assist others. In other words you can't help your kids if you are not breathing yourself. To take care of your kids, you have to take care of yourself."
People who are facing difficulties can call the Iowa Concern Hotline at 1-800-447-1985. The Web site is www.extension.iastate.edu/iowa concern. The hotline is answered 24 hours per day.
Sowing the Seeds of Hope, an Extension program, provides up to five free visits to speak to a professional counselor. It is available to families who don't have mental health insurance coverage or are under-insured.
To find out more call the Iowa Concern Hotline.
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